an excerpt from Despicable People

Please enjoy this tidbit of an excerpt from my upcoming release, Despicable People. 

I look past the touchy-feely trio and into the DJ booth. With his dark brown hair, fair skin with a little scruff on his face, and gorgeous dark eyes. The DJ is known as Joey Watts. He’s very handsome and the newest possible candidate in the running to be my very own future ex-husband.  I move along the edge of the dance floor to get a little closer, maybe I can kill some time before Bull the Null and strike up a conversation. It’s not like anyone in this place is listening to the music. In the few feet it takes to get me closer I’ve already imagined everything about this guy. Firstly, he likes all the same movies I like. He’s ready to settle down with me, move to the country, and adopt a baby from some inner-city crack whore. Do they even still call them crack babies or is that not P.C anymore? I can see our Christmas cards now, everyone in matching sweaters. We’re the envy of all the other couples.

We will be so…On second thought. As I peer further into the booth my mind is changed. He is bent over his turntables with his pants down around his ankles. His Nintendo controller shaped belt buckle is smacking against the concrete floor. Behind him and standing at only 4 feet high is a blond-haired tiny person – or is it little person? Short person? Tiny dancer? Dwarf seems very wrong to say unless we’re in Middle Earth. I seriously don’t fucking know. He’s a shorty and he is dressed in a black robe, which I instantly recognize as Hogwarts standard issue. He’s wearing a Hufflepuff house scarf around his neck, and in the back pocket I see a wand. I realize quickly it is actually a dildo, a dildo shaped like Harry Potter’s wand. His right arm is oddly muscular compared to the rest of his body and far larger than it should be. Almost cartoonish especially considering it is in the middle of fisting DJ Joey Watts ass. Not just a casual friendly fisting either. He is really rooter-rooting that ass. So much vigor, such enthusiasm, oh Jesus he is elbow deep in it! Any deeper and he could probably operate Joey Watts like a damn puppet.

“Fistorium Incantatem!” I hear a tiny high pitched voice shout, as he retracts his arm then shoves it back.

Joey Watts moans loudly, “Get it Dobby! Get it!”

The tiny tot does get it. He gets fast and furious on that ass.

“Fist my Goblet of Fire! Yes! Yes! Raid my Azkaban, RAID IT!” Joey Watts demands, crying out in ecstasy as he looks over and shoots me a smile and a wink.

Jesus fucking Christ.